When a friend or family member dies, the emotional pain and stress can be overwhelming. If you’ve ever been through this, you understand how challenging it may be. When a friend loses someone close to them, it’s normal for you to want to support them. Unfortunately, even the best-laid ideas don’t always work out.
Grief is a natural process. Bear in mind that you cannot solve all of your friend’s difficulties, but you can console them through this difficult period. This blog post will discuss 5 tips on how to help a grieving friend during this difficult time.
Be there for them
There are so many ways you can help a friend in this situation. You can provide them with an ear to listen, share your memories of the loved one, or just be there to support them. However, you decide to help, remember you’re helping them just as much as they’re helping you.
Rest easy knowing your friend still needs you.
Listen and ask questions
A grieving friend may want to talk about the person they’ve lost, but they may be afraid to let go of their sadness or grief for fear of shutting down. When someone is grieving, they may feel trapped in this process; like it’s simply too hard for them to move on.
If you notice your friend is drifting from one topic to another, it might be time to gently bring them back to a discussion about their loved one. Try asking questions such as: “Tell me more about when that person passed away” or “What was she like?”
A grieving friend may need to vent or open up about their feelings so they can start to move on. When a friend is in this process, it’s best to listen and ask questions about how they are feeling, rather than acting at the moment.
Continue with plans as planned
While it’s important to comfort your friend during this difficult time, it’s also important to remember that she may not be able to handle it all. Friendships are important and your friend needs her friends during this difficult time. She may still want to go to a class or invite you to spend time with her. She may just want to sit with you and talk or to help her write a eulogy or letter to the family.
The best thing to do in these situations is to just go with the flow. Some people may want to completely cancel plans, but she’s probably not ready for that.
Offer your condolences
When someone you care about loses someone close to them, your first instinct will probably be to express your feelings. If you see your friend somewhere you know they might feel uncomfortable talking about what happened, let them know you’re thinking of them. There’s nothing more comforting than knowing that someone is remembering you and your loved one.
In addition to that, don’t be afraid to be blunt. Saying something like “I can’t believe you had to go through that,” is much more comforting than simply saying “I’m sorry for your loss.” You never want to say the wrong thing, but sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it.
Let them grieve privately
Your friend may want to go through their grief alone or in a group setting. It doesn’t matter whether they want to talk about it or not. What matters is that they’re not emotionally tortured by you and other loved ones pressuring them to do something.
Often the thought that a loved one might be “so sad that they need someone to talk to.” All they need to do is feel and share their emotions.
One of the hardest things about grief is that we’re so worried about others seeing our pain. We have this idea that they don’t want to see us in pain. And when they try to get us to share, it can be really painful for us.
Letting them grieve in peace is one of the most loving things you can do. You may think that a group will make them feel worse, but actually, the opposite may be true.
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